


you didn't mean to say (i love you)

by pocketsofposies



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Past Relationship(s), more angst actually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 06:36:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18360623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocketsofposies/pseuds/pocketsofposies
Summary: Josie was only afraid of losing Penelope. All that fear did was make it come true.





	you didn't mean to say (i love you)

She didn't mean for any of this to happen.

All Josie knew was that there was a pretty girl that entered the school one day, Lizzie was sick so she had to tour this girl by herself, and she was captivated.

"I'll catch you later, then," This girl— Penelope Park— had told her. She walked away, but turned back and added, "Thanks for showing me around," a wink and a smile, and that was it.

Then she took history with her. Penelope would pass her notes whenever she got bored. The teacher scolded her when she got caught, and the first thing she did when Josie asked about what happened was laugh.

Whenever there was a party and they got sick of it, they would sneak out, lay on the grass, and name constellations with each other.

On a night like that, Josie caught herself staring. Penelope looked at her for a solid minute before she kissed her.

The next day, they had coffee together. Penelope walked her back to her room and kissed her before she left.

The next couple of weeks, they started going out together more. They would spend more time with each other.

On another party night, they left early to go to Josie and Lizzie's room. They kissed as soon as the door had shut, all the way to the bed. Penelope was shirtless and straddling Josie when Lizzie walked in.

After that, the twins argued. Lizzie got mad because Josie never told her. Josie still couldn't tell her why. She was only protecting her relationship.

"Jojo," Penelope had stopped her the next day before getting to the cafeteria, "Are you okay?"

Josie only smiled at her. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" She asks.

That's what she would say everytime her girlfriend would ask.

But the last time, it was in the twins' room.

"Why won't you ever tell me what you're feeling?" Penelope had stood from the bed. "Whenever Lizzie's around, you would act all weird. I figured giving you space was the best idea but you flat out avoided me the last time," She looked at Josie, eyes shining with unshed tears. "Why can't you just talk to me?"

Josie was quiet for a long time, eyes fixated on the empty space beside her on the bed. "I said I'm fine," She managed to say.

"Well, I'm not," Penelope had picked her bag up when she said that. "I can't keep on playing guessing games,"

"No, please," Josie couldn't contain her tears as she stood from the bed.

"I'm sorry, Josie," She turned away, hand on the knob of the open door, "I'm done,"

She didn't mean for that to happen.

Josie watched as the door shut. She knelt down, buried her face in her hands... and sobbed. She cried until Lizzie found her curled up on the floor. Cried until she fell asleep in Lizzie's arms on her bed.

The next day, her sister asked about what happened. She couldn't tell her the truth.

"She got bored of me, I guess," Josie managed a half-hearted laugh.

"That's dumb," Lizzie scoffed. "She isn't worth it. Don't even think about crying over her again, it's her loss,"

She knew her sister was wrong.

Lizzie's annoyance for Penelope grew on her. Whenever her ex was there, Lizzie would list every little thing that she found wrong with her. She would call her the devil. She would call her evil.

When Penelope found out what Josie had said about her, that was when she started being passive-aggressive. Then she would get into her business, make unsolicited comments whenever she could, be "annoying", as Lizzie repeatedly said.

But whenever something good happened to Josie, Penelope would be present. She'd have that smug grin plastered on her face, she'd wink, and it _infuriated_ her.

Like the night she was buried alive. Josie almost died. Penelope— _stupid_ Penelope Park was there to save her.

"I hate you," She didn't mean to say, but she had to as she felt her lips again after what felt like five hundred years. It was like a craving she never knew she needed. Like human blood for a vampire, if she ever became one.

"I know," Penelope grinned at her. That _stupid_ grin on her _stupid_ face.

Josie kissed the smile away.

But she couldn't let herself feel that way. She wasn't ready. She never would be. She would always be scared.

When she received the letter, Josie was terrified. She couldn't get herself to read it. It stayed under her pillow. Every night felt like a fight of her versus curiosity.

When she _did_ read it, it had been too late.

Tonight was supposed to be the night she was ready. But she's too late.

Penelope is standing in front of her. All Josie wants to do now is tell her everything she's been hiding. She wants Penelope to know that all the time they spent together, she'd been scared. Josie was only scared of losing her to Lizzie. She was scared of losing her, but because of that, she did. She'd lost her once. Tonight, she's losing her again.

"One day," Penelope wipes the tears off Josie's cheek, "you will understand why I did everything I did,"

She kisses Josie, eyes letting tears go. She pulls back and stares up at her. Her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes. Penelope looks like her whole world had been shattered, but she still smiles. She pulls her into a tight hug.

Josie wants to tell her everything, but it's too late. There's no changing her mind now.

"I love you, Jojo," Penelope dares to say.

All it does is shatter Josie's heart. She pulls back from the hug and locks eyes with her again.

"I love you with all my obnoxious, selfish, evil heart," She smiles again.

Josie couldn't help but laugh, though it doesn't heal her heart chipping away piece by piece. She wants her to take it back. She wants to turn back time so she doesn't have to hear her say those words again. She didn't want to know that Penelope still loved her, after everything said and done.

Penelope starts walking away and all Josie could do is watch her, like the last time. She couldn't say it back. She didn't want to admit it.

She didn't mean for any of this to happen.

**Author's Note:**

> first posie fic and fic in general that ive posted after a long long time 😌😌😌😌😌😌😌


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